Chicago Ted

The corpses littered the streets around him, slashed in half, heads caved in, blasted to pieces. He had killed them all. Since the massacre at his birthplace of Chicago he had vowed to bring flannel shirt wearing justice raining down upon them. He raised his mighty head above the stench of death to clear his lungs of decaying flesh. A shotgun, cradled in his meaty hands and aimed by instinct alone, blasted through the horde as the car alarm rang in his ears. He jumped into the middle of the fray and began his assault. Immediately a hooded ghoul jumped at him and landed square on his chest. He raised his trusty blade and brought it down towards him, pulling the head clean off. He pushed many of the zombies off him with his shotgun and ran. He led the rotting hoard towards the cold, thick, metal doors of the safe-room and stood his ground. He could hear the ceiling above cracking from the weight of hundreds of bodies and simply waited. Waited for the break.

“Crash” said Chicago Ted, as the ceiling fell down around him, the masses writhing around the debris like fish out of water. He started the fight. Lifting up his sword, with his shotgun in his left hand, he jumped at the nearest one. Pop, goes the neck bone as it is separated. Blam, goes the boomstick as it goes off in the face of a former human being. Blood splattered his chin, caught in his beard were pieces of flesh, as he continued to run through Satan’s work. When everything lay dead around him he had a moment of reflective silence, now penetrated by a soft sobbing. He switched on his flashlight and looked around the room, seeing a pair of glowing red eyes huddled down on the floor. He threw his weapons to the ground and leapt on her. Her witch-like head bursting on the floor as it slams down followed by a gargantuan palm.


He walked up to the safe room door and opened it quietly. Savouring the time spent not covered with disease, he saw a pen on the table and writing on the wall. He took the pen from the table and slowly removed the lid, leaning close to the ground to leave his mark upon the world. “No zombie is safe from Chicago Ted.”